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What is it that drives women to cheat, and what can men do to prevent it? An infidelity researcher weighs in.

Most married couples don’t ever imagine their relationship ending in infidelity. But the truth is that even the happiest marriages can be and often are rocked by cheating. There are many reasons for cheating women. The same applies to men. Loneliness might play a major role, as do boredom and alcohol. Sometimes a close relationship with a colleague is taken too far during a long night at the office. Other times a spouse turns to infidelity to fill a physical or emotional void left unfilled by their partner. The root causes of cheating are varied, but infidelity is common. And it’s not just men who are unfaithful. Women cheat on their husbands more than we think.

“We have this idea socially that men are cheaters, all men are susceptible to cheating, that men are dogs, right?” says Alicia M. Walker, an associate professor of sociology at Missouri State University. “But the data tells a very different story.”

In the process of writing her book, The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife: Power, Pragmatism, and Pleasure in Women’s Infidelity, Walker learned that women cheat at the same rates as men, if not more. Turns out, the cheating wife is not an anomaly. And depending on the age group and behavior, sometimes women cheat even more often than men. “Way more women are cheating than we think,” she says. “We just don’t like to talk about it and we don’t like to think about it. You don’t want to think that your neighbor, your Sunday school teacher, or your friend is doing this. But the reality is, you know a woman who’s cheating, you just don’t know that she is.”

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Why Do Women Cheat?

So why do women cheat? The reasons for infidelity are complex and unique to each relationship. Walker makes clear, there’s no one specific reason for infidelity within a marriage. Some women cheat to avoid boredom; other women cheat because they feel neglected. Still, other women say they cheat just because they want to.

“A lot of the time the reasons are physical, sometimes they’re emotional, and, sometimes, as much as we don’t want to admit this or know this, sometimes it’s just a matter of somebody having an opportunity,” says Walker. “There’s a lot of data showing that a woman will have an affair with a coworker and are more likely to report that ‘My marriage is great and I’m super satisfied. I literally saw an opportunity and took advantage of it.'”

The concept of a cheating wife contrasts a lot of what our culture tells us about women. “We want to think of women as not particularly sexual unless they’re deeply in love or they’re married or in some monogamous relationship of some kind. We just don’t want to think that women are just as sexual and just as interested in having sex with multiple partners or a variety of partners or they get bored with marital sex.”

What to Do About Cheating in Marriage

Given the emotional and financial tolls of cheating, (not to even mention their impact on children, which is bigger still) rethinking our preconceptions about female infidelity is only the beginning. Open minds are important, but when it comes to preventing infidelity, communication is paramount. All relationships need to begin with honest conversations about sex, preferably before marriage.

“Something that some of the women in my study brought up that I never thought about was that when they were searching for an affair partner, they were having these candid, frank discussions about sexual compatibility and sexual preferences,” says Walker. “When I got married, I never had any of these conversations, and I started thinking, ‘You know, that’s true, we don’t have those conversations.’ We kind of wander into these romantic pairings and we fall in love and we kind of think that the sex is going to take care of itself. But, according to the data, that’s not true.”

A big component of those frank discussions should be openness to what your spouse is interested in. A lot of the women Walker interviewed said that when they talked openly about their fantasies or desires to their husbands, they were met with disgust that made them feel ashamed. Cheating presented them with an opportunity to feel validated and accepted.

“It was really pretty sobering, to be honest with you,” Walker says. “This is a person who’s pledged to love you for all time and you say to them, ‘Hey, I want to try role-playing,’ or whatever it is, and then think about having the person that you love and trust the most say, ‘That’s disgusting. What’s wrong with you?’ If you listen to that for years, and then in walks somebody who’s not only like, ‘That’s not disgusting,’ but they’re into it, you can see how attractive that would be.”

Infidelity Versus Open Marriages

In conducting her research, Walker was surprised to learn that a lot of the women that she interviewed were interested in the prospect of an open marriage.

“They don’t want to leave their husband, they love their husband, they’ve got a great life, but what they really want is variety in their sexual partners,” she says. “It’s not just, ‘Oh, I want my husband, and I want this one affair,’ it’s: ‘I want my husband and I want to taste all the parts of the menu!'”

Walker also discovered that women who cheat see it as an exercise in power. The socially accepted norm when it comes to coupling is that the man asks the woman out, the man pays for dinner, the man proposes marriage. While the ideas behind these traditions may be chivalrous, Walker says that the women she spoke to eventually felt confined by these actions.

“They always felt like they had been chosen, rather than choosing themselves,” she says. “And then they go online to Ashley Madison, or any other site, and there are all these men, and now they’re choosing rather than being chosen.”

In the end, attentiveness is the key. Buy game keys super cheat. When you’re with your spouse, Walker says it’s vital to make sure you’re thinking of her needs as well as your own.

“Any man who is concerned about this,” she says, “you should really start looking at your own behavior in the bedroom and really make sure that you’re holding up your end of the table. Because, if you’re not, there’s somebody out there who’s more than willing to do that.”

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**[Update March 30: So many people have visited this page lately I’ve created an updated resource page for you that expands this content: Check out The Ultimate List of Long Distance Relationship Activities To Help You Connect During Coronavirus Isolation.]**

Let’s face it, long distance relationships are not a great deal of fun most of the time. It’s tricky to maintain a sense of closeness between you and your partner when you are miles apart for weeks or months on end. It’s even harder to actually have fun together when you’re far apart.

Luckily, technology is on our side. Nowadays, a connection is only a click away. We can reach people in real time via text. Video chatting even lets us gaze into our loved ones eyes while we’re talking.

But while technology can connect us, it can’t always make those connections feel fun and easy. Every couple in a long distance relationship are going to go through periods where they struggle to feel connected—when things feel flat, hard, or boring.

During those times, playing a game or two can really help lighten and brighten things up.

Here are ten saucy long distance relationship games that can help keep things fun and interesting when you are miles apart.

1. I have never ever

Have you heard of this popular drinking game? Each player says something they have never done before. Then everyone who has done that thing has to drink.

This game can easily be adapted into a texting game when you’re in a long distance relationship. Here’s one way to do that:

  • Text your partner something you have never done before.
  • Instead of taking a drink in response, your partner has to send a relevant photo back.

You can make this game as innocent or as naughty as you wish.

2. Play a game online

Play Scrabble, Monopoly, Settlers of Catan (highly recommended!), or other games online.

Everybody in long distance relationship has to give it up for all the techies smart enough to come up with multiplayer games. From board games to the adrenaline-packed action games, there is a game out there you will both love playing.

If you want to spice this up, keep score of who is leading. The next time you are together, the loser has to pay a price! Make the fine as racy as possible to add thrill to this experience.

3. The lamest quote

Feeling down in the dumps about being far apart? Well grab your phone and computer and play “The Lamest Quote” game.

Each of you look for long distance relationship or love quotes (or images) that just make you groan. Then send these quotes or pictures to each other.

You can also play this with love songs. Bonus points if you find truly awful love songs that also have a LDR theme.

4. Fill-in-the-blank

Have you ever made your own “fill-in-the-blanks”? It is as simple as starting a sentence and leaving it hanging.

For example, you write something like, “You love it when I…” and then let your partner fill in the blank.

Unleash your flirty side to turn up the heat in this game (and to find out what your partner is been dreaming of while you are so many miles apart.)

5. Mystery photos

Send a mysterious, teasing photo of something (an object, a place, or a body part). Then your partner has to guess what the picture is of.

Lover

Again, you can make this game as safe or as spicy as you wish (and as your partner is comfortable with.)

Offer rewards if your partner guesses correctly. What sort of rewards? Well… that’s for you to decide.

6. Good old ‘Truth or Dare’

Who knows what kind of truth you still don’t know about your partner? What have you always wanted to ask them? What have you always wanted to dare them to do?

Proof of dare should be captured on camera and the photo sent by text.

Put a little bit of thought into this (or a little bit of effort into google), and truth or dare for couples can make for a deep conversation, a total laugh-fest, or a heavy-breathing fantasy tickler.

7. Celebrity role-play

Make like a celebrity in this role-play-via-text game. Just make sure that if you intend to turn up the heat, you play behind closed doors!

This is a great way to flirt over text. You pick a celebrity or a character in a movie. Get into your fantasy persona and text away.

Would you character be naughty? Well, then, be naughty. Is there a scene that you have been playing over and over again in your head? Text your thoughts or words to each other.

Then, the next time both of you are in the same Zip code, you can work on those lines all night long.

8. 20 questions

In this game, you must try to figure out what your partner is thinking about in just 20 questions.

Cheating Lover Game

To start, one of you has to initiate the game by letting your partner know that he/she is thinking of something. Then it is a race against a 20-question deadline for the other person to figure out what that something is. If you fail to nail it, you will have to pay the price.

Want to spice it up? Turn up the heat with promising rewards or punishing penalties.

9. Strip texting or strip cam

You’ve heard of strip poker, right? Well, why should poker co-opt something so… tantalizing?

There are lots of ways you can incorporate stripping into a long distance game. Here is just one:

  • Each of you has to state the exact number of clothes you’re wearing.
  • Next, take turns in asking each other questions (about your relationship, your shared history, things that are important to you that you think your partner should know, or anything else).
  • If you get an answer wrong, you take a piece of clothing off (and send a photo as proof if you’re playing by text.)

You might have so much fun along the way you’ll start to wonder whether it’s better to win or to lose.

10. Guess where I am

Online Cheating Husband

Want to feel closer together or find a fun way to let your partner know where you are right now? This long distance relationship game can help.

Cheating Games For Girls

Describe your location by text without giving too much away. Then your partner has to figure out where you are. Start of general, and then get more specific.

Game Online Cheating Lover Videos

This is a great game to play when you’re out and about somewhere where you’ve been together, or a place that is special to you both. It is a nice way to show your sweetie that you still remember those lovely moments that you have spent with him or her, and that you think of them when you’re out.

It’s also possible to play this game inside your house. Heat things up by asking your partner to guess where in the house you are, and what you’re doing there.

Game Online Cheating Lover Korean Drama

Guest author
Susy Richards is a mother of 3 girls. She is a doula, and passionate about providing holistic care during childbirth. She is involved in pregnancy research and runs the pregnant and birth website, rocketparents.com.

Game Online Cheating Lover Stories

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